Monday, November 14, 2016

A love lost letter to my country

You and I
We had always been together
As children we wandered
blackberry patches and the furious play yards
You, always the there one
You, the accepting
You, in the face of pain
The one with the remedy

The rejecting, that too was there
Sometimes your eyes were a little too blue
To reflect the brown of mine

But we made promises
Especially you did
promises in rainbow colors
And I, I fell gratefully into your arms
And I, I fought your battles

Always aware of course that there is change
But change would be to the good
the arc, one of good
ultimately, the argument would resolve into acceptance

We murmured to each other as lovers do
of ever the brighter coming days
wine and roses, yes, and the intangibles
You called those freedom
You led me like Moses to the top of the mountain

And there, in the fickleness of one day turning to night
As I leaned into you
more hopeful
than ever before
you pushed me away

What's wrong, what's the matter
I was in a panic but I knew
I looked into your blue eyes
We have been together so long I have learned
to know rejection when I see it

Isn't there anything we can do to fix this
You shook your head and walked away

You broke up with me
You were supposed to be the one I could trust
Now when I lie awake at night
thinking and praying
Please don't do anything worse
I think on your phone messages and texts
about how you won't really hurt me
But I see you and your friends
quietly grooming the horses
ready to ride maddeningly
into the darkest of nights
I see you
I hear you
I wonder why I even
keep caring
keep wishing for blue eyed redemption

*dedicated to and inspired by Tramaine Murray*

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