We speak of love as unconditional
caught up in yearnings as in an ocean wave
gliding through it
riding its smooth face
face we cannot see
tossed like debris within it until we rise choking
hardly breathing
dashed
energized
humbled by this power to overtake us
How cruel and casual we can be as to filial love
people who are given to us by the architecture of life
siblings taken for granted or worse
ignored and despised
for simply being themselves
unconditional love?
parents who can’t fail to disappoint
hovering like taut angels
disappearing into lives of their own
caught up in another wave than ours
our children
never aware how carefully we release them like baby sea turtles to cross the sand to their ocean
Who among us does not pass through decades
without heart shattering
loss can happen over morning coffee
grinding into a perception that someone is not giving enough
shares too much
cannot find a container for their emotive binges
insists on pouring themselves into you
until your own life is so full of their self absorbed angst it enters you as poison
you declining to quaff the arsenic brew felt as rejection
abandonment
that thing they insist they always felt from you
you who worked at a distant desk
not present when they cried until their little skins turned purple
they still try to purge themselves of this heart stomped feeling decades later
your choice your mistake your lack of love your abandonment
It is said that in the end we are alone
meaning we cross a final threshold releasing any hand we hold
some ends happen long before natural death
at times the hands simply let go
having lost that accepting touch
time’s tides mercilessly separate us
In my life there are those I have profoundly disappointed
nearly everyone close has felt the blunt edge of my imperfections
it becomes easier now to forgive them
their endless writings of my inadequate love
love that has matured into the fine weave of being unconditional
yet is perceived as clearly
not enough
whereas it is sadly imperfect
not necessarily tuned to their same key
having been written on the windows in yesterday’s mist
love letters lingering in the much mended heart
#NAPOWRIMO
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